I want to discuss what happened at the DA's office yesterday since I'm going back again tomorrow morning. The counselor, who is actually a therapist, is concerned about how much this episode of him being up for parole has upset me. Because, as I told her, the initial assault, as bad as it was, doesn't even compare to what followed.
There was the backlash from my neighbors, who had to blame me to feel safe; I must have done something to bring it on myself, or else it could happen to them too just as easily. Total strangers would come up on the street and demand to know what happened. And get nasty if I said it was none of their business. One man insisted I apologize to his wife when she asked why I hadn't screamed and I told her he'd put a gun to my head. Then she said that wasn't what she heard, like she knew more about it than I did. I believe I used the F word as I turned on my heel and walked away.
Things got worse, I was also hounded briefly by the press who were determined to get my story. It bothered me how little privacy I had and how powerless I felt. Even the cops had an agenda that had very little to do with what I needed. Part of that was to be heard, and be believed, part was to just be allowed to express my feelings. Which were mostly about my being angry; and by the way, I still am today.